I found out what is in my heart

Do you know how your heart is doing, not only physically, but spiritually and emotionally? How is your heart today?

Let us look at this in the fifth part of our series on forgiveness. I want us to read that passage from 2 Timothy 3:1-9 that speaks about heart issues and the struggle we have with learning through them. This is a scary passage because it describes our day to the “T”. It says this:

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth—men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.”

That verse 7 says that there are always learning but are never able to acknowledge the truth. This is so true when our hearts are not right. That is what I want us to look at. I want us to look at a heart like David's heart. Last time, we looked at that passage with David. David had a heart after God's own heart. How can you and I have a heart that is right? How can we learn and not be like the men and women in the last days, who do not love anybody not even themselves? May we have a heart that forgives and a heart that loves.

We need to look at this topic further. You will remember when he looked at David and saw how even when he had Saul under his power, he could have killed Saul and taken revenge. He is very clear in 1 Samuel 24:6 He says: “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord's anointed, or lift my hand against him, for he is the anointed of the Lord.” There was not a shred of bitterness in David's heart. There was not a shred of anger or revenge. He did not take offence at all. Despite the terrible things that King Saul did to him. He kept trying to put right and work at that. God was testing David's heart.

We look at our circumstances and cry out. We sometimes feel like a victim rather than a victor. We need to realize that God wants us to come through every circumstance, even the worst. Even in these last days, he wants us to come through them victoriously. That is why we must never take revenge. That is why Romans 12:19 is clear: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” God tests His servants. I do not know what you are going through right now but I know that God has your best interests at heart. He is purifying your heart and refining your heart. He is working there and sometimes to refine things it takes a bit of pounding and a bit of difficulty. How is it affecting your heart even when Christians say it is justified to react in bitterness or anger? What does God say?

I once served under a corrupt leader at one stage and the challenge was, do I report him by becoming a whistle blower? Why does God allow this corruption? However, I remember that God is a God who is in control of all things even great corruption. Remember how little Samuel was placed in the care of Eli at the Tabernacle. Eli's sons, Hophni and Phinehas were corrupt. They were sexually immoral, says 1 Samuel 2,3, 4 and 5. It tells us that they stole from God's things. They compromised. They were overweight, big fat monsters of men, doing evil, but in the midst of that God called Samuel to be there. If it was most Christians today, if that happened in a church, what would they do? Christians today would have called a committee to respond to the corruption. They would have gone to the elders to expose the wickedness, but Samuel stayed serving the Lord in the Tabernacle. God is capable of dealing with wickedness. Children do not correct their fathers, rather it is the duty of fathers to teach their children. Samuel chose to serve God and serve his anointed leaders without becoming judgmental over them.

Firstly, let us look at a critical heart. Today, if you would ask yourself that question, how is my heart, what would you find? Do you find a heart that is quick to forgive and forgiving constantly? Today it is very easy to become critical of churches and pastors. A pastor may either be too casual or too formal. The pastor’s preaching may be too light or too heavy. I have got good news for you. There is a perfect pastor and His name is Jesus. The rest of us are all sinners in need of His grace. Jesus is the only perfect pastor. We need to stop looking for the perfect pastor, the perfect church or the perfect Channel on YouTube. We need to serve God where He has put us. That is why 1 Corinthians 12:18 says: “But God has arranged the parts of his body every one of them just as he wanted them to be.” Where has God put you? Are you playing your part in that body? You need to remember that God led you to the church you are at now. We have an enemy Satan, who would want to trap you in a fence. He would want to show you something wrong everywhere and cause you to stumble. Jesus put you where you are with a purpose to make a difference where He has put you. I want to encourage you to serve Jesus where you are until He calls you elsewhere.

I know I went to a church where there was a celebrity pastor. He was a national celebrity. I remember sitting in the services with my jaw hanging loose and my eyes wide open, as every week I heard God speak through him. After about two years I began to see his failings, his clay feet. I saw that he was just a man like everybody else, and I was tempted to become critical. I became suspicious and realized that he is not perfect and I was tempted to run away. However, God clearly showed me that if I left, I would be hurting the body of Christ. God turned that situation for good and He is faithful.

The reality is, as Psalm 92:13 says, “Those planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of God.” When we planted in God's house we are meant to flourish and bear fruit. When we move, uproot ourselves, we go and plant in a new pot. We uproot again and we plant it in another pot, those roots never get a chance to take hold properly. They shrivel and we fail to bear the fruit that God called us to. We need to be faithful where God has planted us. Many people go from church to church. They sometimes move within a church from ministry to ministry, always trying to develop their own gifts, not for others but for themselves. It is easy to get offended when they are not recognized, not put on a pedestal, or perhaps encouraged as they desire to be encouraged. This leads to them being offended and they leave. They leave and they blame the leadership. It is either a pastor whose too strong, or too weak. The people that do this are most often blind to the character flaws in their own hearts. The key is to look within our own hearts.

The reality is we need to learn from the plants. Jesus is calling you to hear the word of God and apply it in your life. I remember my grandfather who had a citrus farm with lots of oranges on it. He used to say when the winter is cold and most bitter that is the year the oranges are the sweetest. I wonder if you looked at your life, if somebody squeezed you, does sweetness come out of you? Or is it bitterness? Have you been so sheltered, moving the minute there is difficulties, and not growing?

God's Word and spiritual growth are interlinked. The more you read His word, the more you go to church and listen. Do not just go to one service, go as many times as you can. The more you serve, the more you grow. What happens if you love God's Word, if you love the Bible, if you read it in your quiet-time? Psalm 119:165 says, “Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble." I wonder are you easily tripped up, or easily offended? The destiny of loving God's word and not being offended is seen in Psalm 1:3 which says: “He then is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither whatever he does prospers.” That explains why some people hear the good news, but they are never growing, never developing. They like the seed that Jesus spoke about sown in rocky places. They hear the word and they receive it with joy but they have no root. Their roots only last a short time. When trouble comes and persecution comes because of the word they quickly are offended and fall away. If you want to grow you have got to be rooted. Get into the body of Christ, serve and listen to God's word. Do not have a critical heart. Turn to Jesus to cleanse your heart. Do not take offence at every little and big thing.

Since there is a critical heart. The second thing I want us to look at is a suspicious heart. As you put that stethoscope to your heart and you listen for how it is functioning, now with a spiritual stethoscope examine if you have got a suspicious heart? If you are not rooted in God's word and know the Bible, then you will be blown in many directions. You will be blind to your own character flaws; you will not grow and develop. It is a little bit like Cain and Abel. Remember Cain and Abel? God worked in Adam and Eve's life and they hadchildren. Cain came along and brought the fruit of his labour of the land. He brought that to God. God said “no” that is not what I want. Abel on the other hand brought an animal sacrifice. Why? When Adam and Eve sinned, what did God do? He did not cover them with more fig leaves (the fruit of the soil), God covered them with the skin of an animal (that had to be killed). For without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sin. Cain and Abel both knew that if they were going to bring an offering to God, there needs to be bloodshed. What was Cain's response? When God said, “Sin was lurking at your door?” Cain did not say, “Lord help me to change my way. I turn away from this bitterness. I turn away from this offence. I turn to You.” No, instead Cain took offence. He took out his anger and bitterness on his brother. He murdered Abel. Then God cursed him in such a way that he became a vagrant. One who travelled around the land. He no longer could farm the earth and receive from the land what he was so good at receiving. God said to Cain, “Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground which opened his mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you work on the ground it will no longer yield its crops to you. You will be a restless wonderer on the earth are vagrant” (Genesis 4:11-12.) Cain would become a vagabond and a fugitive. The problem is that today there are many offended Christians and they have become spiritual vagabonds. They are drifting from church to church and many have even stopped going anyway.

Nobody can produce spiritual fruit that is disconnected from the vine. We all need to be connected to the body of Christ. It is together as a body that we bear good fruit in these days. Cane was separated from that land from which he tried to please God. He became fruitless, barren and bitter. Many spiritual vagabonds and fugitives are around us. They have gifts to serve, to sing to God, to administer the body of Christ, and they are nowhere to be seen. They are no longer sharing God's word and they are no longer receiving God's word in one place. They are going from place to place. They are not practicing the sermons, and are never maturing as believers. They are always looking for the perfect church. They are always going to that “perfect” church but with a suspicious heart. Their heart is wrong.

God never created you to be a lone ranger Christian. He never created you just to be in your family. He created you to be part of a community and to be protected. The old story of the coals in the fire are hot and burning as long as they stay together. If one coal rolls out it grows cold and dies. Likewise, with us. We should never leave a church or a ministry. Some ask what about if God moves you me? Ask the question who put you there? If it was the Lord who put you there then He will tell you to go out with joy. He will tell you to be led forth with peace as Isaiah 55:12 said. Do not leave because of the actions of people but leave only by the Holy Spirit's leading. That is why you need to look at your own heart today applying God's word. Do not just listen to the word of God, do what God says. Have you got a critical heart? Have you got a suspicious heart?

Then, thirdly, have you perhaps got a defensive heart? A defensive heart is a common reason for disobedience and failing to apply God's word. We take offence at others. Christians who have a defensive heart and they preserve themselves rather than fully surrender to God. They love God but not with all their heart. Not with all their soul and mind. They preserve themselves. They gain the world and lose their souls. This week the challenges for you is to examine your heart. Offended Christians avoid the source of offence. They flee from the problem, they become vagabonds and vagrants.

I remember a man who left his church and he came to RBC. He asked to join and I asked him why he had left his previous church. He said that it was because of problems in the leadership of the previous Church. I sent him back and I told him to go resolve the problems and only when there was peace was he to think of even leaving. He never came back because he did resolve it and stayed in that church. When you stand before a church like Yolandi (a member our church) did two weeks ago at our communion and said goodbye, without bitterness. She could testify to God's goodness after 19 years in this church. She has gone to serve in another church near her new home. As she was not able to travel all the distance, the 45 minutes to church. She goes with a blessing. She was able to stand before everybody and in peace leave us to go where God wants her.

Maybe you have heard the old story of when the tribes were moving south and the Zulu people came into Kwazulu-Natal. There was a wise old man who would stand at the crossroads and meet the travellers as they came in small groups and families. He would ask, “Where have you come from?” They would tell him, “We have come from a village where there was conflict up north and we are now coming south.” He would ask, “What was your village like?” They answered, “There was fighting, stealing and there were all sorts of horrible things going on.” He replied, “Well do you know what this village ahead is just like that you are coming from?” They replied, “Thanks for warning us.” The travellers said that they would go on further south all the way to Pondoland. When other travellers came to that wise old man, the wise old man said to him: “Where have you come from?” They would say: “From that village.” The wise old man asked, “What was your village like?” If they replied, “It was a wonderful village. We helped one another. We served, we stood together as a people.” The wise old man said, “Well, this village you are coming to is just like your old village. Why not you join us here and be part of what God is doing in building? God is at work.”

The question is what heart do you come with? If you come with a defensive heart, you will see everything through those dark glasses. How you view your past relationships, will shape your future relationships and the way you live. The way you leave a church, will shape the way you enter the next church and the relationships you have there. Jesus said in John 20:23, “If you forgive anyone his sins they are forgiven if you do not forgive them they are not forgiven.” We need to forgive. We preserve the sins of people when we pick up an offence. When something happens and we take offence. We hold on to that and we harbour bitterness. We create little harbours and we nurse little bitterness in our hearts. God says that we should open our arms and let them go. God will deal with them but you must forgive because you have been forgiven. When we carry into our future relationships all the baggage of the past we are burdened and heavily laden.

Do you know that over 60 percent of second marriages of divorcees end. They divorce again, because the divorcee going into the second marriage, often carry all those issues into their second marriage, that were not resolved. Issues stemming from lack of forgiveness in their first marriage. When they go into their second marriage they simply wreck it like they did in the first one. They do not address the character flaws in their own heart and own life. I have seen it here at RBC when people have left another church to join our church which they did not forgive fully. They simply repeated the problems. They have soon found issues at RBC and left to go somewhere else. They even blame me for the way their previous Pastor behaved.

What can we say in conclusion? Many times God will allow people to run away from their problems, just like He did with Elijah. When Jezebel threatened him, Elijah turned tail and headed for the desert. Before then Elijah had killed all the priests of Baal? He had a great victory and now God wanted Elijah to deal with Jezebel who was the root problem. But what did Elijah do? He got afraid. He became fearful rather than faithful and he ran. He ran so far angels that had to freed him along the way and he ended up at the mountain of God. God in a still quiet voice, meet him and challenged him. He sent him back not to deal with Jezebel but to anoint two successors. One of them was Elisha and then a wicked foreign general who would ultimately kill Jezebel, from a neighbouring nation. God's purposes always worked out. Even when you run and you are not part of God's solution to this world. He will find somebody else and you will lose the privilege of being God's answer where he has put you. God calls us to be faithful where He has put us. Often God's plans cause us to face issues and attitudes deep in our hearts that we do not want to face. When we run from a things that will bring the most growth to our lives, we become weak. When we lose our strength out of disobedience we fail.

It is impossible to establish new healthy relationships with someone who has left another relationship bitter and offended. You are just causing more problems. How many people go on the dating circuit on the singles night out. The date spend their time telling you about their past dates. It becomes one litany of bitterness after another, you know this is not going to end well. In the same way, healing must take place in all of our lives before we can move forward.

That is why the Bible says that true love in 1 Corinthians 13, “keeps holds no record of wrongs.” If you have fully overcome an offence. If you have forgiven what was done to you, then you will seek to make peace. You will seek for an opportunity of restoration. That old proverb will not be true of you. That proverb that says, “A dog that has been burnt by boiling water will be afraid of any water after that.” Have you been burnt? Turn to Jesus for healing. Maybe you are even paralyzed like that paralytic. Ask the help of others around you to pray for you. To bring you to Jesus. Get help, only Jesus can operate on your heart. Not just your physical heart. He can fix that too but He can operate on you, deep within and change you from the inside out. Jesus alone can supernaturally heal your wounds.

That is why you need to take everything to the Lord. You need to take the path of humility. Put right where you can. Deal with those things that you are denying even to yourself because self-denial leads to spiritual immaturity. Make the other person, the person that offended you, their well-being more important than your own. Go out of your way to put right. Pride cannot walk the path but only those who desire peace at the risk even of rejection, which is the road of humility. It is the road that leads to life. Humble yourself and the Lord will lift you up.

Do you have a heart after God's own heart? Do you need to trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding today? I have found out what is in my heart. What is in yours? Do you know what is really deep down in your heart. Have you perhaps discovered a critical heart, a suspicious or a defensive heart? The bad news is there is no human cure for a bad heart, but you know what? There is a supernatural cure. Run to Jesus with me now even in prayer.

Let us pray. O Lord Jesus we come to you with our hearts. You know everything about us. Every thought, every emotion. Even our every cell in our bodies. You know everything and Lord Jesus we come to you and ask you to do heart surgery on our hearts. To bring healing to us. Like the paralytic, we are lowered to Your feet. We cry out to You, Jesus, forgive me of my sins. Heal my broken heart. Heal me completely. Lord Jesus, for some of us, we need to cry out, “please come into my life for the very first time. By your Holy Spirit, Jesus operate on me from the inside out. Save me, Lord Jesus, I cry. Have mercy on me, I plead. And reach down now into my heart. Give me a heart that keeps no record of wrongs. A heart of genuine love. For I pray this to Your glory and in Your name I ask this, Lord Jesus, amen.

If that was your prayer and God has met you now and you know He has heard you. If not you can pray it again if necessary. May God bless you as you go on with the heart of love. The minute you start slipping into bitterness run to Jesus again. Maybe that will only be in five minutes time. Still, let go of all offence. Take no offence at anything. Immerse yourself in God's word and put in deep roots into the body of Christ where He is called you to serve. Go humbly and serve. Do not go with pride or out of fear. Instead, go in humility and do what Jesus has asked you to do. Live your life to His glory. To Him be all the praise, the honour and the glory now and forevermore amen.