How can you forgive the worst betrayal?

How can you forgive somebody near and dear to you, who hurts you deeply? How can you live free from deep offences?

We want to look today at the process of forgiveness. This is the third in the series of forgiveness. I want to encourage you to look at God's word with me. We will read from the life of Joseph and just a few verses at the end of Genesis 50:15-20 it says this: “When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept. His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said. But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.”

We have seen in this series on forgiveness that we can be offended by intentional evil done to us. Sometimes we can also be offended things that we simply feel have been done to us, that might not have been done. Here we are dealing with a genuine grievance. What was done to Joseph was terrible. It was the worst of betrayals. We see how Joseph's dreams turn to nightmares. We need to go back and remember something of what happened to Joseph. The well-known story about how Joseph was the 11th son of Israel (also known as Jacob). He was despised by his older brothers, (the ten brothers that had come before him). He was despised because he was favoured by his father and he was even given a coat of many colours, which stoked the jealousy, envy and the bitterness of his brothers.

Joseph received two dreams from God and he told his brothers and his father about them. The first dream was about 12 sheaves of corn that had been harvested and the eleven sheaves bowed down to his sheaf of corn. The second dream was of the sun, moon and eleven stars that all bowed down to him. Those were his parents and his eleven brothers that were symbolized in the second dream. Each one of those dreams just angered his brothers all the more. Joseph, was a young man perhaps not understanding the wiles and the nature of evil. One day, his brothers were doing their job of shepherding and he volunteered to take supplies to his brothers. When his brothers saw him at a distance they plotted to murder him and they even said, “Here comes the dreamer.” They later put him in a pit to die. Then some of the brothers managed to get him out of the pit and sell him off as a slave to some passing slave traders, to make money from him. Joseph was declared dead. They took his coat of many colours covered it in animal blood and his father thought he was dead. They even plotted to take his inheritance. For all intents and purposes he was no longer part of the family.

Remember, this was not some strangers that did this. This was not an enemy far away that attacked him. This was his own flesh and blood, his own brothers with the same surname as him. His own brothers had sought to blot him out of the inheritance and strip him of his identity. All that was familiar to him would now be gone and he would be a slave, probably till death, as it was in those days. If someone was a slave and he found a wife that wife would become a slave like him. Any children that he had would be slaves. For a rich man to be enslaved was the worst kind of slavery. It was far worse than to be born as a slave who knew nothing better. Joseph, a rich, possibly, spoilt son, was now a slave and he was as good as dead. He was living as a dead man in a way. Perhaps he wished that his brothers had killed him rather than sending him into slavery. His brothers did him a great evil. This was a most cruel deed, among many other cruelties that they had shown him.

Firstly, we should see that hindsight gives us another picture of what happened. Hindsight reveals, (as you probably know) that the story ended well. In the process for Joseph, the story was one of pain and difficulty, he went through great struggles. For years Joseph never knew whether his father was alive or dead. Joseph never knew what had happened to his family. He did not know whether they knew he was alive. Nobody was coming to rescue him. Joseph was sold to Potiphar who was a senior official in North Africa, in Egypt. He served there as slave for over 10 years. While he was serving there his life was a struggle. As he worked, he progressed and his work conditions improved. He was later promoted. He went up the ladder of success.

Soon after he hit the top, Potiphar's wife began to lust after him. Joseph who feared God and wanted to honour his master Potiphar, did not succumb to the seduction of Potiphar's wife. When he fled from Potiphar's wife it was a case of a woman scorned. “Hell, hath no fury like a woman scorned”, as it is said - from William Congreve's play, The Morning Bride. (The line in full from which it comes, says: “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”) Potiphar's wife was scorned, and all hell broke loose upon Joseph and he was thrown into prison after finally reaching the top of the slave ladder.

The Bible tells us that here in this dungeon where there were no windows, as it was underground, Joseph again proved that he was faithful. Over the years he spent in the dungeon, he began to be put in charge of the other prisoners. In Psalm 105:18 is says: “They bruised his feet with shackles and his neck was put in iron.” This happened because he was a foreign slave, in a foreign prison, accused of rape and there was no chance of release. Joseph had gone about as low as you can go.

Perhaps Joseph thought, “Lord I have served faithfully. Lord, why is this happening to me? I am even more faithful than Potiphar's wife is to him. I have been loyal to God and to my master and what is the reward? Prison? How could God allow this?” Maybe Joseph thought why has God not fulfilled His promises in the dreams He gave him? Joseph had limited freedom in prison but he had the right to choose his response to what happened to him. He could have been offended and bitter towards Potiphar for not believing him, Potiphar's wife for lying, his brothers who had sold him into slavery and even against God who had not intervened. But if he gave up hope he would give up living and he trusted that God was in control.

Secondly, I want us to look at the sovereignty of God. God is a King of all Kings. He controls this whole universe; he orders the affairs of all of us and nothing is outside of His control. The sovereignty of God reminds us that God is in control. When the devil whispers in our ear, “Is God really in control, is he really sovereign?” We need to remember that indeed our God Almighty is in control and that nothing is outside of His control. It probably did not cross Joseph's mind that all of these experiences in Egypt as a slave and as a prisoner were equipping him for high office within the government. He did not know that he was going to be the saviour for a starving nation and region. Joseph was learning that obedience comes as we walk in step with the Spirit of God. He was learning obedience by what he suffered. It was his brothers who were the instruments in God's hand to cause this to happen. Joseph probably saw his dreams and those great promises from God as confirmation of God's favour upon him. However, Joseph needed to learn that when God blesses us with much, He does not call us to proud, but He calls us to serve. We are to be like Jesus, we are to take off the outer garment and wash the feet of those to whom we are called to minister. Joseph was learning the hard lesson that authority is not given to us to rule over people but to serve and lead them wisely.

In periods of training like Joseph was going through, he was to focus on God and not on the impossibility of the circumstances. He was to focus on the greatness of God. Joseph was being tempted not to become discouraged but to trust God. He was not to blame others or God for not preventing the circumstances. The focus of his anger could have been justly directed at his brothers. They had caused this dream to become a nightmare and to be deferred. They had indirectly led to his imprisonment and Joseph could have rightly assigned blame to his brothers.

That is something that we too can easily fall into. We might say if it was not for a certain person then I would be serving God. Remember that no man, woman, child or demon, can separate you from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. God has a purpose for your life. His will, will not be thwarted. Nothing can keep you from fulfilling your destiny if you will trust God. Joseph realized that his brothers had consciously ended his dreams. Remember in Genesis 37:20 it says: “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.” These brothers consciously and willingly acted maliciously towards Joseph this was no accident, they were trying to destroy Joseph. They were deliberately evil.

The interesting thing is God was not caught by surprise. God is sovereign. God is in control. God is not hindered by our physical weakness or circumstances. God is sovereign. If Joseph was a modern Christian, he might be tempted to do what some Christians are doing today. He might have been plotting revenge. He might have wanted to go to another church and start all over again. Imagine for a moment. If Joseph had taken revenge and killed his ten brothers, then among those ten was Judah. From Judah descended Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the promised One of God. Jesus Christ has now died on that cross for all humanity, Jew and Gentile alike. Jesus has risen from the dead and conquered death. The power that raised Jesus is the power that can change us, forgive us and empower us to forgive the worst of betrayals. Jesus would not have come from the line of Judah if Joseph had taken revenge on his ten older brothers. God's plan was being worked out in His time. Joseph chose to stay free of those offences.

Joseph became a mighty instrument in the hands of God. Prison even made things worse for Joseph. Joseph went on to interpret two dreams of the cup bearer and the baker. The cup bearer or the butler ended up being reinstated and forgetting all about Joseph. Despite that, about two years later, we know that the story changed when Pharaoh himself had a dream, nobody could interpret the dream, the butler remembered and Joseph was brought out of prison and told Pharaoh what his dream meant. Pharaoh raised him up from the lowest dungeon to the second highest position as the prime minister of all of Egypt. Joseph became the one who for seven years planned and administered all the wealth of Egypt to alleviate the coming drought and the catastrophe that was around the corner. He was the one that prepared for the crisis, because the sovereign God of all the universe was still in control. God is sovereign.

Thirdly, I want you to see God's plan in this process. When the famine came, we see God's plan finally coming to fruition. When all the nations in the surrounding areas also suffered the same drought as Egypt, his own brothers in nearby Canaan came down to Egypt to get supplies. When Joseph saw them he could have held onto the offence that had happened years before. He could have thrown them into prison, tortured them and killed them. Nobody would have questioned him as the prime minister of the land. However, the Bible tells us that Joseph gave them grain at no charge. He later gave them the very best land in all of Egypt. He blessed them and did not curse them as Jesus teaches us in Matthew 5:44.

God knew all of this before Joseph's brothers betrayed him. In fact, before Joseph was even born God knew the end from the beginning. That is why Genesis 45:5-8 says now Joseph speaking to his brothers said: “And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be ploughing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.” Psalm 105:16-17 says: “He called down famine on the land and destroyed all their supplies of food; and he sent a man before them— Joseph, sold as a slave.” The question is who sent Joseph to Egypt, his brothers or God? There are two witnesses in the scripture. Joseph himself says it was God. The book of Psalms says it was God. No mortal, no demon in the heavens or in the earth thwart the plan of God.

If you can grasp that truth it will set you free - nothing can separate you from the love of God. The only person who can get you out of the will of God is your own sinful heart. We see that danger when Israel was brought out of Egypt. Later on three million slaves were delivered and brought into the desert, to the mountain of God, in the book of Exodus as we have studied for a number of weeks. When the people got to the promised land, they doubted, they looked at the giants and they wilfully disobeyed God. God delayed His purpose. Forty years later, He fulfilled everything He had promised. Even if that generation first had to pass away. God has a plan and you need to trust Him and not take hold of offence.

Many Christians have been serving God for many years. However, when we look around the church some of them, because of the Covid-19 crisis that we have all been through, their love has grown cold. They maybe remember their mistreatment by wicked people and take offence. They have been offended and they have fallen into the enemy's trap, they have gotten out of God’s will.

If you want to stay free from offence, then you need to stay in God's will. You need to let go of whatever has potentially offended you. If you become offended, you become a captive of the enemy and the devil will use you to do his will. Stay free from offence and do God's will or take offence and become captive of the evil one. That daunting choice is yours. Nothing can come against you without God's knowledge. Think about it. If Satan could destroy you without God's knowledge, he would have done so long ago. He hates you. You represent all that is good and from God. Jesus died for you but nobody can touch a hair on your head without God being in control.

That is why 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” God has foreseen every adverse circumstance that can come your way. You will never encounter anything that is outside of God's control. Big or small, God is in control. He has a plan and a way of escape in everything. That is why you must remember to stay submitted to God. To walk in step with the Holy Spirit and when you become offended to resist the devil. Do not take offence and flee from that offence. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. In fact, the dream or vision that God has given you will be fulfilled in God's time. God's promises never fail but the key is not to take offence.

Not many of us have suffered as much as Joseph suffered. Not many of us have been betrayed in the most terrible ways like Joseph, but most of us have been through some painful experience or another. Often this is not from our enemies but from those nearest to us and those that were meant to encourage and support us. Those that were meant to protect and care for us have often wounded us deeply. Forgiveness frees you from all injustice. Yes, there is injustice in this world but if you will forgive each and every wound, you will be free.

Hindsight is needed. Look back at God's goodness thus far. Remember that God is sovereign. He is in control and remember that God has a plan for your life and for all our lives. He is working all things together for good. Decide to forgive. Decide to name the person and the offence, let it go. Extend compassion to that person and release each and every person that has offended you. Name them as Joseph did with his brothers. Forgive each wound, bless them and do good to those who offended you. Forgive them and make sure that that forgiveness then frees you from injustice. Maybe if it will help, take a pen and paper to write it out as a prayer to God. Tear it up and burn it or throw away afterwards. Release everything, every wound, every unforgiven aspect in your life today. Choose to forgive because Jesus has forgiven you.

Let us pray together. Father in heaven thank you that you have made a way for us to be reconciled to you our God. To be forgiven of all our sin. Help us now to forgive others as you have forgiven us. To forgive even the worst betrayal. Help us decide to do good to those that have done evil to us and to forgive them entirely. To let go of every wound. May the wounds heal by Your Holy Spirit's healing and that we might not have any infection of bitterness in the wound. O Lord Jesus, cleanse us we pray, from all unforgiveness today. Lord set us free that we might love and fulfil the purpose for which You created for us on this planet and not to miss it in any way. Guide us, Lord Jesus, we pray. Deliver us from evil we ask and lead us daily. Even as you forgive us, help us to forgive others their debts and their trespasses against us. For this we pray in the Almighty name of Jesus Christ, our Saviour and God, amen.

Will you now live your life to the glory of God. Fulfil the purpose to which God has called you. Glorify God by forgiving and let go of all unforgiveness. Bless and do not curse and bring glory to God now and forevermore, amen.